I just spent the last few hours forcibly peeling back layers of my own survivor psychology.
It’s highly unnerving to find that two years after the divorce I’m still discovering more ways in which that relationship fucked me up.
I can’t pretend that I didn’t develop a new eating disorder, much less that it’s the reason I haven’t eaten since 1 AM and won’t again until tomorrow afternoon.
I didn’t realise that I had such a strong reaction to certain stimuli – but sure enough, when things went just a little over the line I’d tried to lay down I retaliated far more viciously than the situation really called for.
On the other hand my habits of responding to guilt trips (intentional or perceived) with complete emotional shutdown and of responding to aggression with aggression are much older. Those have been part of me since I was a child.
Sometimes it feels as though I’m a dog that’s been forced to fight in the pits, then seized, and handed over to a good foster family, meeting many good people. Tries to be a good dog. Gives warnings, not too loud, when his boundaries are pushed. Doesn’t know how to make them clearer when they keep getting pushed except to bite and bite hard. Tells himself, well, I warned them, but that doesn’t really justify paying back an objectively harmless poke in the flank with a ring of bleeding toothmarks.
I’m very tired.
straight people talking about what queer characters should or shouldn’t so wrt queer issues
![Out with the old, in with the new.
I’ve always liked these deep mahogany auburns. They do well with even boringly-average blue eyes.
Just needs ‘burns and some scruff. >(
[edit] whups, forgot to flip it the right way ‘round](http://24.media.tumblr.com/df2441ca2310b1f40667382e128b4a73/tumblr_mkfcw0vLKj1rrjzjho1_r1_500.jpg)
Out with the old, in with the new.
I’ve always liked these deep mahogany auburns. They do well with even boringly-average blue eyes.
Just needs ‘burns and some scruff. >(
[edit] whups, forgot to flip it the right way ‘round
A trans woman will be playing a trans woman on Elementary.
More and more I feel like Robert Doherty was at some point a hardcore Sherlock fan who became fed up and went “I SHALL MAKE MY OWN SHOW WITH WOMEN AND MINORITIES EXPLORING ADDICTION STIGMA, ALSO MYSTERIES.”
Bless him.
I haven’t read past the first sentence of this post. I can’t. I am too choked up to go further. Oh my gosh, I am sitting here crying.
A trans woman will be playing a trans woman on Elementary.
(via jiffyfetch)
The average life span of a transgendered person is twenty-three years. The statistic is shocking, until it begins to make sense. Gender non-conformists face routine exclusion and violence. Transgendered people are disproportionately poor, homeless, and incarcerated. Many of the systems and facilities intended to help low-income people are sex-segregated and thereby alienate those who don’t comply with state-imposed categories. A trans woman may not be able to secure a bed in a homeless shelter, for example. Spade writes that just as the feminist movement tended to “focus on gender-universalized white women’s experience as ‘women’s experience,’” the lesbian- and gay-rights movement has focused primarily on a white, middle-class politic, centered on marriage and mainstream social mores.”
—
Guernica / Trans-Formative Change
Dean Spade is the first openly trans law professor. Meaghan Winter interviews him for Granta.
(via irunfrombears)
^^^ a very basic intro to some of the reasons why i in no way support the human rights campaign or other mainstream “gay rights” organizing
(via dressupbox)
The average lifespan of a trans* person is 23. Twenty-three years old. That is heartbreaking.
(via stfuconservatives)
I’m freaking the fuck out.
(via alphaeve)
Except I’m pretty sure this isn’t true and the methodology behind it is not only terrible but realy fucking gross and appropriative?
(via tal9000)
Appropriative of fucking WHAT. Don’t shit on others’ beds, especially when they’re already on fire.
(via queerliteraphile)
Sending love to trans* women today, especially those for whom women’s day is not safe space. You matter and you’re welcome here.
(via artoftransliness)
Click here to support HELP Young Trans Girl in Extreme Danger by Tori Scout »
I need to raise at least $500 ASAP for a very young rural transgendered woman who is fleaing extreme violence. She has a lot going for her, including a support team for her arrival in Toronto, once we get her passport/travel. By “a lot going for her” I also meant to say, she is incred…… more at Click here to support HELP Young Trans Girl in Extreme Danger by Tori Scout
(via sipersonal)
My dad said if this gets over 1,000,005 notes He will take me to… “DISNEY WORLD”
It’s worked for white people, I figured I might as well give it a shot.
seriously i really want this kid to go to Disney world though
i want to vicariously live my dreams via a person getting a thing they want
come on
OK YOU BETTER GET TO GO!!!
I’MA MAKE UR DREAMS COME TRUE KID
((IF WE GOT 500K FOR A FLUFFY CHICKEN, WE CAN GET 1M FOR GOD DAMN DISNEY WORLD.))
I like birds more’n I like Disney but helping out all the same. Best of luck!
(via ceeainthereforthat)
You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”
—
Daniell Koepke (via internal-acceptance-movement)
It took me 24 years to figure this out, but once I did I was free.
(via breanieswordvomit)
woah it’s like this was meant to be on my dash tonight
(via queer-as-femme)
And even if they say they’re sorry, you aren’t obliged to forgive them or let them back into your life.
(via sanityscraps)
(via ceeainthereforthat)
In which Alaska Republicans literally laugh out loud at the idea of civil unions or domestic partnerships for same-sex couples. Ughhh. (via Towleroad)
Fucking gross. This is why I’ll never visit Alaska and try to avoid buying goods from that state. The Alaskan government has been blatantly, flagrantly ignoring the voice of its people for a long damned time in favour of political lobbies that run on anti-science and bigotry. I hope all three of these disgusting meatsacks steps in some form of crap at least once a day for the rest of their worthless lives.
(via vhanstiel)
